You Raised Your Kids There. You Remodeled the Kitchen. You Love the Backyard. You Remember Every Holiday. That Makes the House Priceless to You. It Doesn’t Make It Worth $200,000 More to a Stranger.
Written by Devone Richard
5
LET ME GUESS—“BUT MY HOUSE IS DIFFERENT.”
Of course it is.
You raised your kids there.
Your son took his first steps in that living room.
Your daughter learned to ride her bike in that driveway.
You hosted Thanksgiving in that dining room for 20 years.
You remember Christmas mornings.
Birthday parties.
Graduations.
Family arguments.
Family celebrations.
Maybe you lost somebody you loved while living there.
Maybe you built your entire adult life inside those walls.
I understand why the house means so much to you.
I really do.
But now I’m going to tell you something your Realtor may be afraid to tell you:
THE BUYER DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANY OF THAT.
Not because they’re insensitive.
Because those are your memories.
They’re not buying your childhood stories.
They’re not buying Thanksgiving dinner.
They’re not buying your kids’ first steps.
THEY’RE BUYING A HOUSE.
And that’s where sellers get themselves in trouble.
THERE’S ACTUALLY A NAME FOR WHAT YOU’RE DOING
It’s called the Endowment Effect.
It’s a behavioral tendency where people can place a higher value on something simply because they own it.
And real estate might be one of the easiest places to watch it happen.
Before you owned the house, it was:
Four bedrooms.
Three bathrooms.
A kitchen.
A backyard.
A certain square footage.
A particular neighborhood.
Then you lived there for 15 or 20 years.
Now?
IT’S NOT JUST A HOUSE ANYMORE.
It’s your house.
And those two little letters—
M-Y
—can get expensive when it’s time to sell.
YOU’RE NOT COMPARING HOUSES ANYMORE—YOU’RE COMPARING THEIR HOUSE TO YOUR LIFE
6
Your Realtor shows you three comparable sales.
House #1 sold for $850,000.
“Ours is nicer.”
House #2 sold for $875,000.
“Their kitchen wasn’t as nice as ours.”
House #3 sold for $860,000.
“They don’t have our backyard.”
Okay.
Then the Realtor shows you another one.
“Our street is better.”
Another.
“Ours has more character.”
Another.
“That one doesn’t count.”
😂
After a while, there’s apparently no comparable property on Earth good enough to be compared to yours.
Why?
Because you’re no longer comparing the physical characteristics of the properties.
YOU’RE COMPARING SOMEBODY ELSE’S HOUSE TO YOUR EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO YOURS.
And there’s no comparable sale for that.
“BUT I PUT $100,000 INTO THIS HOUSE.”
Here we go.
New kitchen: $50,000.
Bathrooms: $25,000.
Flooring: $15,000.
Landscaping: $20,000.
Now you want every dollar back.
Maybe more.
There’s only one problem:
THE MARKET DOESN’T HAVE A REIMBURSEMENT DEPARTMENT.
You chose those cabinets.
You chose that flooring.
You chose those countertops.
You chose the landscaping.
And hopefully you enjoyed every damn bit of it.
But the next buyer might walk into your $50,000 kitchen and immediately say:
“First thing we’re doing is changing these cabinets.”
😂
That’s the part sellers hate.
Improvements can absolutely add value.
But spending $100,000 does not automatically make your house worth $100,000 more.
YOUR RECEIPTS ARE NOT COMPARABLE SALES.
I’VE WATCHED THIS HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE
6
I had a situation in Los Angeles that perfectly illustrates this.
The seller believed the property should be worth around:
$1.4 MILLION.
There was a problem.
The comparable sales were around:
$840,000.
That’s not a small disagreement.
That’s not:
“Maybe we can squeeze another $25,000 out of it.”
We’re talking about a completely different reality.
The seller saw the property through the eyes of ownership.
The market saw the property through the eyes of comparison.
Guess which one ultimately determined the value?
The property eventually sold for:
$837,000.
Not $1.4 million.
Not $1.3 million.
Not $1.2 million.
$837,000.
The market didn’t insult the seller.
The market didn’t disrespect the house.
The market simply didn’t share the seller’s emotional valuation.
And that’s the Endowment Effect in real estate.
“BUT I KNOW WHAT MY HOUSE IS WORTH.”
Do you?
Or do you know what your house is worth to you?
Those aren’t necessarily the same number.
This is one of the hardest conversations Realtors have with sellers.
Because when I tell you the market suggests $900,000 and you believe the house is worth $1.1 million, you may hear:
“Your house isn’t good enough.”
That’s not what I’m saying.
I’m saying:
THE PEOPLE WITH THE MONEY ARE COMPARING YOUR HOUSE TO EVERYTHING ELSE THEY CAN BUY.
They’re looking at square footage.
Condition.
Location.
Schools.
Lot size.
Bedrooms.
Bathrooms.
Updates.
Competition.
Recent sales.
Monthly payment.
Interest rates.
And alternatives.
They’re not sitting in the driveway saying:
“You know, I bet they had some incredible Christmas mornings in there. Let’s add another $150,000.”
😂
YOUR HOUSE CAN BE PRICELESS AND OVERPRICED AT THE SAME TIME
Read that again.
YOUR HOUSE CAN BE PRICELESS TO YOU AND OVERPRICED TO THE MARKET AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.
There’s no contradiction.
Your memories may genuinely be priceless.
But memories don’t transfer with title.
The buyer doesn’t receive your emotional attachment at closing.
They get the property.
And then something interesting happens.
THEY START BUILDING THEIR OWN MEMORIES.
Your house becomes their house.
Your kitchen becomes their kitchen.
Your backyard becomes where their kids play.
Their Christmas.
Their birthdays.
Their life.
That’s beautiful.
But they aren’t paying you for the memories you’re leaving behind.
AND REALTORS—STOP FEEDING THE DELUSION JUST TO GET THE LISTING
5
We need to take some responsibility too.
Some agents know exactly what’s happening.
The data says $900,000.
Seller wants $1.1 million.
And the agent says:
“Sure! Let’s try it!”
Why?
Because they want the listing.
Then 30 days later:
Price reduction.
Thirty days after that:
Another price reduction.
Then another.
That’s not a pricing strategy.
Sometimes that’s just an agent buying a listing with a number they knew the market probably wouldn’t support.
A GOOD REALTOR SHOULDN’T TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.
A GOOD REALTOR SHOULD TELL YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.
Even when it costs them the listing.
THE MARKET ISN’T DISRESPECTING YOU
This is where sellers have to separate themselves from the transaction.
A low offer isn’t necessarily a personal insult.
Showing feedback isn’t a personal attack.
A price reduction isn’t admitting your house is bad.
And a comparable sale isn’t disrespecting your memories.
THIS IS BUSINESS.
The market doesn’t know you.
It doesn’t love you.
It doesn’t hate you.
It doesn’t know what you paid.
It doesn’t know what you need to net.
It doesn’t know how much money you spent remodeling.
And it definitely doesn’t know how many Christmas mornings happened in your living room.
THE MARKET ONLY KNOWS WHAT BUYERS ARE WILLING TO PAY.
FINAL THOUGHT
6
Sellers, love your house.
Be proud of it.
Remember every birthday.
Every Thanksgiving.
Every Christmas.
Every graduation.
Every person who walked through that front door and became part of your life.
Nobody can put a price on those memories.
AND THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT.
You can’t put a price on them.
So stop trying to put them into the listing price.
When it’s time to sell, you have to do something emotionally difficult:
STOP LOOKING AT THE HOUSE LIKE THE OWNER.
START LOOKING AT IT LIKE THE BUYER.
What else can they buy for the money?
What recently sold?
What is your competition?
What does the data say?
Because you can tell me:
“But my house is special.”
I believe you.
You can tell me:
“You don’t understand what this house means to us.”
You’re probably right.
You can tell me:
“You couldn’t put a price on the memories we’ve made here.”
Exactly.
SO DON’T.
Because you’re not selling the memories.
YOU’RE SELLING THE HOUSE.
And if you add $100,000, $200,000 or $500,000 to the price because of what that house means to you, don’t be surprised when buyers don’t see what you see.
They weren’t there.
They didn’t live your life.
They don’t own your memories.
YOUR MEMORIES ARE PRICELESS.
YOUR HOUSE ISN’T.
And sometimes the biggest obstacle between a seller and a successful sale isn’t the Realtor, the marketing, the buyers or even the market.
IT’S THE SELLER’S EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO A NUMBER THE MARKET NEVER AGREED TO.
That’s the Endowment Effect.
And if you’ve ever said:
“I know the comps say that…but my house is different.”
Yeah.